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I told him that it wasn’t really any of his business but I just fantasised about watching my wife with other guys. With that I thanked him for checking up on the computer.About a week later my wife suggested we went to a pub in the neighbouring town. We hadn’t done that in ages so I agreed. We arrived at about 7.30 and I got the drinks in. My wife offered to get the next round in and was gone for about 10 minutes so I started to worry about her. Then she returned, with a guy. She introduced him to me as Pete and asked if it would be OK if he joined us for a drink, which she had bought for him as a thank you from me. I didn’t know the guy so I must have looked a bit surprised, so my wife then said, ‘oh you haven’t met yet as I picked up your computer, this is Pete the guy who fixed it’. Of course I didn’t want to make my wife suspicious so I told him that he could join us. Anyway, he was a very pleasant chap and he stayed for a few more drinks, but as my wife was driving she switched. And he knows it. He has, in both words spoken and not, pointed out to me all the things I have allowed to creep back into my way of life since his departure. I have both cringed at wept at the girl I have presented to him now after our countless hours together. I have allowed myself to get swept away by those I have surrounded myself instead of holding true to all that he taught me. My shame is great. He says that he does not hold me responsible for the changes he has noticed and I am sure there will be more that become apparent to his unwavering gaze. He knows me like no other and the more time I spend with him, the more I reveal, without even knowing, of how I have let myself go once he was gone. I feel so much shame but yet still find hope in the time he allows me to be at his feet. In one sentence he can have me trembling in fear that I will never be allowed in the comfort of his steel again but hopeful that he might give me a chance. I think he relishes the power he has over me,.
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